Now listen to part of a lecture on this topic in a psychology course.
Last month, my favorite uncle paid me a surprise visit. I hadn't seen him in many years. The door bell rang, I opened the door and there was uncle Pete. Now, I am sure when I saw him I said something like, “Uncle Pete, what a surprise! How nice to see you.” Anyway, my wife was standing next to me, and according to her, I wasn't really aware of this, my eyes got really wide and I broke into a huge big smile, she said I was really jumping up and down like a little boy. Well, anyway, later that evening uncle Pete told me how very very good he felt when he saw how happy I was to see him.But compared that with this: my daughter, she's six, we were building a bird house together last week, and I was showing her how to use a hammer and a nail. And, of course, stupid me, I wasn't being very careful when I smashed my thumb with the hammer. Boy, it hurt! I almost felt like screaming, but I didn't want to upset my daughter, so I said, “Don’t worry, honey. It’s nothing.” Meanwhile, I was shaking my hand as if that would stop my thumb from hurting and my face was contorted in pain. My voice was trembling, too. So, even though I told my daughter I was OK, I am sure she didn't believe me, because she kept asking me if I was OK
Explain how the examples from the professor’s lecture illustrate the relationship between verbal and nonverbal communication.
When we have face-to-face communication with others, the non-verbal messages like our gestures and tones usually communicate as much as or even more than our verbal messages, our words. That is, when our non-verbal message agrees with the verbal one, the verbal message is enhanced. For example, when the professor's favorite uncle surprisingly visited him, he told his uncle he was very happy. Meanwhile his eyes got really wide open, and he broke into a huge smile and even jumped up and down like a little boy, so his uncle felt very good about it, too. However, when our non-verbal message conflicts with the verbal one, it can communicate more messages than our words. For example, when the professor taught his daughter to use hammer and nails, he accidentally hurt his finger. Even though he told his daughter he was OK, his daughter didn't believe him because he kept shaking his hand as it could reduce the pain, his face distorted and his voice trembled, which suggests he was actually in pain. (174 words)